you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
