Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
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