it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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