You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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