I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
