Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
