I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
