I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
