If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
