he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I looked at my own cervix.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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