Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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