even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
