Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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