So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
