I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
