apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
