New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
