So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
