what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Randomize
