we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
