the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
