Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize