So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I will be naked everywhere
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
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