Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize