Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
