I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
