Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
