God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
im on a boat
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