Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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