Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
i would punch a child for taco bell
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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