puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize