so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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