this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
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