Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
