you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
