Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
