i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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