so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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