I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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