the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Randomize
