brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Holy sore nipples Batman
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
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