everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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