just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
