its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize