Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
