that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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