i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
