Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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