You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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