I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
