He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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