Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
