glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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