and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
