She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
