just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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