I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
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