Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
