That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I got inside last night via doggy door
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
