Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
