VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
