What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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